…a threefold cord is not quickly broken.  (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

A pastoress once bore a name
which merits neither guilt nor shame;
Pentecosta Charismania
(biblical in megalomania).
Worthy of poetic fame,
a brilliant if unstable flame.
sincere she was, yet volatile
she brought it down, revival-style.
At altar calls, she could inspire
tongues of glossolalian fire
The Devil she would oft rebuke
with lines from John, or Paul, or Luke
a prophetess on holy crack
was Pentecosta on the attack…

Her nemesis was prudent, able
doctrinally dull—but stable:
Patriciana Presbyteria.
Less given to divine hysteria,
wisdom did adorn her table.
And her soul bore well the label.
No prophecies escaped her lips
nor prone to divinating slips;
this sensible reformed young maid
was made to have and have it made
Elect, correct in doctrine, wit
invested in no counterfeit
her pop’s portfolio lent her worth:
not less than heaven cashed on earth.

Mocking these unseemly heretics
swayed by neither sects nor politics
was Maria Della Romana
Faithful matron, primadonna
Loyal to her Papal rite
she grieved her sisters by candlelight,
fingered furious rosaries
stormed the gates with St. Peter’s keys
beseeching Jesus that they turn
from devil’s doctrines fit to burn,
rejoin the holy Mother Church
rather than their souls besmirch
with further Antichristian sin.
(She genuflected fit to win.)

God is known in Trinity
but less through femininity:
His three adherents, flamed by One
like braided gold reflecting sun
are Christian fates: three tendencies
or triplicate analyses,
tripartite in judgemental grace
each one assumed, with zealous face
that the other two could not be saved
as sure as Heaven’s roads are paved
with wisdom’s gold and Christ’s pure light.
(They made a most amusing sight.)
Since threefold cords cannot be broken,
let my punchline rest, unspoken.



4 comments on “Church-o-Rama³

  1. Would love to read that punchline one day . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sgliput says:

    Your vocabulary never ceases to amaze! Having belonged to two of the three groups you mention, I can attest that the “I’m-saved-you’re-not” mentality is more prominent in some than in others. If only we could all focus on what we agree on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Andrew says:

      Too true. As a Protestant it is also hard to think charitably about Roman Catholics after learning about certain historical events. But I know several Catholic individuals who are far better Christians than I am…

      I also identify with 2 of the 3.


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