…in every visible character man differs less from the higher apes,
than these do from the lower members of the same order of Primates.

Charles Darwin, 1871

An agitated sheboon pitched a fit
When a rival denied her primate will;
The drama descended quickly to shit…
(Youtube and Instagram in overkill).
None could say what had provoked this crash-out,
Onlookers hoped to film—and then cash out.

Said the sheboon to the oratchetang:
Y’all shut yo bitch-ass mouf cuz I don’t play.
Her rival then loosed this interrobang:
U  finna hit, weak-ass? Yo, I’m gone SLAY.
Each matriarch threatened the other now
Like murderous heifer and crazed mad sow.

Perceiving a sleight to her womanhood
The ‘tang continued: I’ma punk yo ass.
Spectators gathered in the neighborhood,
Hoping World Star might upgrade to world–class.
Thus honor and dignity followed suit
To hail and hallow each feminine brute.

Hegelian dialectic reared its head:
Dusky maidens adjusted their bonnets.
They readied for battle, both seeing red;
Poets prepared their heroic sonnets.
Humanity wavered. None could foresee
Impending tragicomedy to be.