Fake News Wets Bed

HEAR YE, HEAR YE:  It’s a wedding bell for bedding well while we’re crushin’ the illusion of Russian collusion! CNN wets on Russian bedding but Trump bets on Russian wedding, and you’re invited to the bridal shower. Punking the monkery, dig the debunkery; from Rasputin to Putin it’s time for some straight shootin’. Hillary looks old and glowers at Donald’s rumored golden showers. Our media owes US an explanation for streams of steaming urination, but we are willing to forgive and use their wet diapers as debt wipers. My poem’s appeal may take a toll, but let its little peal now roll:

Tinkle, tinkle rings the bell
A Fake News warning; time to spell
out what was wet with Moscow girls.
Putin’s putas?  Wisdom’s pearls
were pried from Truth’s reluctant shell,
banishing Hillary straight to hell.
None. It’s what we want left over
from this hag. We now discover
beds were dry; it all amounted
(all those golden tricks recounted)
to less than a tepid bowl of kasha. . .
Russia laughed from her summer dacha.
InfoWars was on it first
while Dems spun lies from false to worst,
awarding cash for faked dossiers
embellished with the CIA’s
well-trained performing circus-seal.
The FBI endorsed the deal
as RINOS horned in on the action:
Washingtonian distraction;
a democrat-concocted fuss—

. . . but we ALL paid Hillary to piss on us.

Hilarioustrumpet

 

The Mother of all Mummies

Of the myriad films about mummies
that send chills to the pit of our tummies,
the original’s best.
You can keep all the rest;
their appeal is to modern-day dummies.


The original 1932 film is less a horror story
and more a psychic thriller about reincarnation and eternal love.
I get very wrapped up in this stuff:

The burden of Egypt.
Behold, the Lord rideth upon a swift cloud, and shall come into Egypt:
and the idols of Egypt shall be moved at his presence,
and the heart of Egypt shall melt in the midst of it.

And I will set the Egyptians against the Egyptians:
and they shall fight every one against his brother,
and every one against his neighbour;
city against city, and kingdom against kingdom.

And the spirit of Egypt shall fail in the midst thereof;
and I will destroy the counsel thereof:
and they shall seek to the idols, and to the charmers,
and to them that have familiar spirits, and to the wizards.

And the Egyptians will I give over into the hand of a cruel lord;
and a fierce king shall rule over them, saith the Lord, the Lord of hosts.

Isaiah 19:1-4

 

Surely the princes of Zoan are fools,
the counsel of the wise counsellors of Pharaoh is become brutish:
how say ye unto Pharaoh, I am the son of the wise,
the son of ancient kings?

Isaiah 19:11