It’s not enough to be unique—we offer the greatest solution to the largest sector of innovative like-minded innovators. Our award-winning approach together with our exclusive synergy is premier among extensive leading providers. Brand innovation and collaboration will yield real-time growth in the fastest opening markets. We move product, we’re easy to use, dynamic, and data-driven over the edge into the yawning abyss of Gehenna, the Lake of Fire, where we will be tormented for eternity.
The Adverse Event was not so much a breach of transparency or mere data deviation as much as it was, in retrospect, a full-blown protocol violation. The control group, although they were not informed, still perceived challenges to their collective self-esteem therefore the entire collaboration was assessed as globally unsustainable. Results-driven outcomes will enhance and further inform best practices with reference to the emerging metric.
We had moved to East Africa in 1976, year of the disco bicentennial, the year I entered 8th grade. Amidst the multi-culti smorgasbord of my new international school (in the middle of a coffee plantation), I encountered my female Scandinavian classmates. I still wanted to play with toy cars; but they were women already (8th grade is strange that way). This was an entirely new species to me—unfathomable amazons and angelic emissaries from the unknown northlands. Previous points of reference were gone—I was in Africa, there were flowering jacarandas in red dust clouds, huge acacia trees, different food, unfamiliar smells, and too many new stimuli to process; too many new languages, new sights, new shades of human being, sudden downpours, big skies, new constellations, wild animals and suddenly now the music of these extraterrestrial women. I saw them on the school buses and they sat next to me in class: Nordic blondes—they talked to each other in birdlike lilting tongues beyond their classmate’s comprehension. They were good students, they were gifted athletes, and they were even friendly! I didn’t so much have crushes on them—I beheld them in amazement and glimpsed new horizons: disco vistas to eternity.
When they smiled at me from so far above it felt like . . . . glossolalia:
Slow-dancing to Goodbye Yellow Brick Roadat late night parties, I clasped some of them around their knees—they were so much taller than I was. Or it seemed so at the time . . . Sometimes they even TALKED to me with their beautiful Scandinavian accents. One fateful day in 1976 Inga Johannssen lent me her ABBA cassette and every aspect of eighth-grade life was instantly mythologized in three minutes of pop music, every uncomfortable adolescent yearning was forever catalyzed in flawless studio harmony and sheathed in plastic—a viking time-capsule in silver platform shoes. I can never recover. I wouldn’t want to anyway. Here’s my ABBA poem:
Glimmerings of ABBA
Emerging global fantasies turned blonde for me in ‘seventy-six.
Bjorn, Benny and the flickas sailed the radio waves from East to West.
Santa Lucia’s crowning princess never shone so blessed
on midnight pines as she did in my private Eurovision-mix.
Perfect pop intensifies the longing for that feminine fix.
Cassette wheels whirred; first branding, finally impressing
deep grooves upon the brain; my pre-pubescent thrall confessing
helpless love for Nordic light (in thumping Disco metrics).
The names still hum, strike flames, kindle bright renown:
Bang a Boomerang, SOS, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do (and will forevermore).
Those Viking visages sacked and razed my little harbor town.
Sorry Virginia—
but there is no one-world of humankind.
We will NOT evolve into groovy global citizens of a unified planet without borders, armies, or national cultures. We will not educate the coming generations into harmonious conscientious co-existence. Of course these things are good —yes, but it will not happen, so sorry to inform you.
Linking the entire race together by intuitive ergonomic technologies will NOT resolve the problems of mankind.
Adopting gender-neutral planet-centered jargon will NOT bring mankind into a new paradigm, and we are NOT, so sorry to say,
“returning to the Great Mother” or any other such matriarchal malarkey. Becoming image-based and branding for environmental awareness will not alter mankind’s predicament. Random acts of kindness and poetic terrorism are useless.
Forcible re-education of those who will not live as loyal subjects of the benevolent One-World dictatorship will NOT work. Liquidation of dissidents and malcontents will not work either. Sorry about that. I know you were looking forward to a lot of those wonderful things. But let us be realistic.
The fusion of science and “spirituality” will not change the world by bringing us into a new age. Nope. Even if EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US aligned our chakras before the end of the Mayan calendar, it still would be nothing more than a flash in the Pangaea in the blink of a third eye…
CONNECT/HOOK 