Objective: No Objectives


This objective will not be accomplished
through a series of planned action-steps.
This outcome will not be a result
of selectively modifying best practices.
Results-based analysis will not help you.
This objective cannot be achieved
through collaboration with peers
or self-reflecting on past strategies.
There will be no PowerPoint, Prezi, or any other slide show
to unpack this metric.
The new paradigm is an old dead joke.
Outcomes are irrelevant to this objective.

This objective laughs at you
as it explodes in your data-driven bureaucratic face.
Go to hell and take this benchmark with you,
you piece of administrative irrelevance.
There are no more attainable objectives.


IMAGE CREDIT: Hergé, The Seven Crystal Balls


The useless Haiku:
silly Japanese verse form.
Formula for dull.

Data Talks… (Celery Stalks)

Fata Morgana !

Fata Morgana !

Crunch the numbers and look at the data. I’m like:
Measurable outcomes for pleasurable incomes—
incorporate outsourced inhuman resources in-house. I’m like:
indicators for vindicators.
It’s all about the data, mama—
so man up, sit down, and move forward
like hard apps on software, like ram on a gigabyte. I’m all:
sit up, move down, man forward;
benchmarks as milestones, stone benches as mile-markers
measuring the change-talk: obstetric metrics
played out for pregnant pauses.
It’s about throwing out the carry-on
It’s about unpacking the lost luggage
It’s about documenting best practices of undressed actresses
until the data-driver fails the breathalyzer.
The data tells a story – memes of mastery cast in plastery:
DUCK the FATA (morgana) !




More Data-Driven Drivel HERE

Data-Baiting Data-Hooks

The ability to tell the story of numbers –
to extract meaning from spreadsheets and analytics reports,
to tease out insights from seeming mountains of data –

Arment Dietrich

One of the most powerful, understated skills of the future in marketing
is the person who can generate insight from data.

Christopher S. Penn

It’s about infusing data with meaning:
pre-dating outdated data;
liberating data from the catchment base
and stocking the data-pool
while re-stocking the data-bar,
then raising  that same data-bar
until the data jumps over it
so we catch the information
as the benchmarks are liberated.

(Please mark all data
before throwing it back in the data-pool
in order to facilitate
tracking, hunting and fishing of future data
without endangering
the target population.)

Poetic Data


Intellectuational Linguistics: Benchmarks for Bench-Warming

The author, after recently publishing

Working to Frame Approaches Towards Approaching Frameworks:
Contextualizing Systemic Interventions as an Interventional System in Context

collaborated with himself and co-wrote

Granting Greater Rights to Grant-Writers:
Turning Down the Echo in an Eco-Downturn.

Both papers were well-received and build on the strength of the author’s initial work, published in 2020, entitled:

Speed-Dating the Data: Progressive Measures towards Measurable Progress

 The author’s third paper examined day-by-day data deterrence as a strategy to enhance documentation of impact towards tracking the implementation of benchmarks. The main thesis of the author’s 78-page analysis was that out-dated data, when out on a date, flirts with obsolescence by trying to ford the current affordability when instead, it could be out-sourcing data while invoicing clients in adolescence—rather than dragging the river for dead data. All three publications are recommended and underwritten by overwhelmed authorized ghost writers and this blog.