This objective will not be accomplished
through a series of planned action-steps.
This outcome will not be a result
of selectively modifying best practices.
Results-based analysis will not help you.
This objective cannot be achieved
through collaboration with peers
or self-reflecting on past strategies.
There will be no PowerPoint, Prezi, or any other slide show
to unpack this metric.
The new paradigm is an old dead joke.
Outcomes are irrelevant to this objective.
This objective laughs at you
as it explodes in your data-driven bureaucratic face.
Go to hell and take this benchmark with you,
you piece of administrative irrelevance.
There are no more attainable objectives.
SEEK GOD and LIVE.
IMAGE CREDIT: Hergé, The Seven Crystal Balls
The useless Haiku:
silly Japanese verse form.
Formula for dull.
Fata Morgana !
Crunch the numbers and look at the data. I’m like:
Measurable outcomes for pleasurable incomes—
incorporate outsourced inhuman resources in-house. I’m like:
indicators for vindicators.
It’s all about the data, mama—
so man up, sit down, and move forward
like hard apps on software, like ram on a gigabyte. I’m all:
sit up, move down, man forward;
benchmarks as milestones, stone benches as mile-markers
measuring the change-talk: obstetric metrics
played out for pregnant pauses.
It’s about throwing out the carry-on
It’s about unpacking the lost luggage
It’s about documenting best practices of undressed actresses
until the data-driver fails the breathalyzer.
The data tells a story – memes of mastery cast in plastery:
DUCK the FATA (morgana) !
More Data-Driven Drivel HERE
The ability to tell the story of numbers –
to extract meaning from spreadsheets and analytics reports,
to tease out insights from seeming mountains of data –
One of the most powerful, understated skills of the future in marketing
is the person who can generate insight from data.
It’s about infusing data with meaning:
pre-dating outdated data;
liberating data from the catchment base
and stocking the data-pool
while re-stocking the data-bar,
then raising that same data-bar
until the data jumps over it
so we catch the information
as the benchmarks are liberated.
(Please mark all data
before throwing it back in the data-pool
in order to facilitate
tracking, hunting and fishing of future data
the target population.)