Wussup professional Latina ?
Diversity been good 2 U?
Water warm enuf 4 U?
Shaking down enough rich gringos to fund your Non-Profit?
(speak against capitalismo here)
Got time for la Revolución after your pedicure today?
(mention the border here)
still watching Oprah, Abuela?
heard from your third ex-husband recently?
Wussup, consummate professional.
(turn on NPR here)
Got nail polish? Got car waxed? Got investments?
(take a networking business lunch here)
Have you streaked your hair enuf?
(mention indigenismo here)
I hope you are caring well for all the nietos
and still have time to be a tiburona
(insert italicized Spanish word here)
How are all your gente ?
(mention mujeres fuertes here)
Hey Latina—when did you move out of the barrio ?
(mention La Raza here)
Mujer Latina—wussup ?
How is Gringolandia workin’ out 4 U ?
(turn off Univisión here)
’cause if the oppression gets too bad
you could always move back
to Venezuela
or Chihuahua
or San Juan, or…
(mention Trump here)
…Miami?