Presbyterians, prudently invested
Their faith and their doctrine uncontested
Live for days of God-knows-what.
Ever predictably not offending
Maintaining stability, while sending
Children to the proper schools.
So far removed from Luther, Calvin, Knox
That Reformation grace holds up their socks.
They read Tim Keller’s books and aim to please
And sometimes even pray upon their knees,
Smiling blandly, heeding rules.
Presbyterians have milquetoast in the soul
Which keeps God’s passion under their control
While waiting for Lord-knows-what.