I still listen to cassettes on my Walkman —
so wake me up when the next big thing develops . . .
Cuneiform: Textual Intercourse
u text me dis
i text u dat
she dissed my dis
i sent last Sat.
on down the list
i sexted six
(my 7th missed)
u banned my width
i book your face
u twittered on
she save my space
u scrolled me down
he tweeted smiles
recharging miles . . .
i saved as mine
and cached denials
then skyped our souls
PROMPT #17: write a poem that features forgotten technology
(You can download it for free.)
I, El Desdichado, Lord & Master of ConnectHook
DEMAND recognition as The Most Boring Poetry Blogger.
You’ll never touch me so don’t even TRY.
Don’t even bother dipping your quill again,
you mere drip on the mildewed scroll of antediluvian parchment,
you cuneiform Cunégonde, you proto-Canaanite pottery fragment,
you keyboarding clown-failure and archeological relic
unworthy of preservation in a third-rate underfunded Albanian museum…
I, and I alone, dragged myself up from the protoplasmic slime to BORE you.
I transitioned from amphibian to anthropoid before your mama even MET the postman.
I stood upright upon the bloody battleground of evolutionary struggle
and SELECTED MYSELF (naturally).
Now pass that banana right here.
[translated from Proto-Ugaritic cuneiform by no one in particular]
Ooooh baby –
I loves the way you mooooove that thing –
woo woo wooooooooooo…
I likes it like dat wooo wooooooooo –
You gots to move it move it
Cause you doin it like dat –