Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?
then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.
Jeremiah 13:23
We’re tired of your feline past
predatory darkness cannot last
your claw and tooth, your fangs, your youth—
they get old fast.
Your sullen, incoherent style
has grown intolerably vile.
After the kill, your prey is still
in pure denial.
Leopard-phantasms feed the flames;
the thing that spawned you whines and blames
although we could call Motherhood
by harsher names.
Jungle law enforcement should
stop crowning you with victimhood
erase your spots, connect the dots—
we wish you would.
Then lambs with lions shall rejoice
while lines with iambs raise their voice;
spotted pards play wiser cards.
(A better choice.)
I love the rhythm and rhyme scheme on this one. It flows but feels slightly off balance. It fits the subject material really well. Strong stuff.
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I like it, but I cannot edit to save my life ;)
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“Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.” -Revelation 12:12
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Yes. And even the leopards are pissed off about this. 2 h3ll w/the devil.
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I love the rhyme, but there is a clash provided by the fact that I am currently on good terms with leopards. They started as villains in my latest fantasy, but one then redeemed himself. I greatly admire them, anyway.
(grow old fast; lions with lambs; ‘pards)
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No edits needed! This is lyrical but as Beleaguered Servant says, “slightly off balance.” In other words, Great! The truncated last lines in each stanza are genius. Love it!
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