I Have Been Truthful and Consistent Limericks

 

Jussie walks ! Money talked—and talked loud
To the Trump-hating race-hustle crowd;
And they break forth in cheers
As star Smollett appears
For their drama-queen makes them so proud.

For a moment Fake News became tense:
Jussie’s narrative made little sense.
There were lies told in spades,
But the incident fades;
Now it’s on to more current events.

 

Pelagius Pummelled by Petals

TULIP

I hereby smite thee with my flower, you simpering Pelagian.
By the five petals of my predestinating tulip you shall wilt, wither and die. My TULIP flourishes, watered by the blood of martyrs, fertilized and flowering by God’s sovereign grace. Away with your merely human worldly wisdom. Christ cultivates a blooming garden of grace, and our Savior hallows the Augustinian fragrance flowing freely from this line of flight. It’s time to stop and smell the TULIPS !
Tremble and surrender, worldlings, before the eternal might of my gentle flower as it sings, blooming on a theological stalk, waving gently in the wind of liberty, a floral banner proclaiming freedom. Away with your works; out, out, and perish, you preachers of what cannot save. Give up, give in and praise the Lord of hosts for redeeming grace and unmerited favor.
This eternal flower must go forth conquering and to conquer. To hell with human potential, free will and progress falsely so-called. Blessed are the Antinomians, for they shall inherit the empty ruined tombs of Arminian theology.

Proto-Ugaritic Love Poem

Textual Intercourse: Cuneiform

u text me dis
i text u dat
she dissed my dis
i sent last Sat.

u lol’ed
on down the list
i sexted sixth
(my 7th missed)

u banned my width
i booked your face
u twittered on
she saved my space

u scrolled me down
he tweeted smiles
we USB’ed
recharging miles . . .

u giga-bit
encrypted files;
i saved as mine
and cached denials

in digital
we re-erased
then skyped our souls
and interfaced.