In a panic, having lost control of the vehicle at high speed and swerving off the Data Highway, I assessed the impending impact and made quick mental notes for a feasibility study as the stationary tree moved closer rapidly. In a flash, ultimate outcomes passed before my eyes, like the newest edition of a celestial Clearslide/PowerPoint/Prezi presentation tool:

• Data drives performance indicators as the winter wind whips the data-driven snow.
• Real-time numbers are to outcomes what God is to Heaven.
• Data supersedes Life as Christ supersedes the angels.
• Vigorous data collection enhances and informs rigorous data selection.
• Data is to outcomes as outcomes are to income.
• Objectives tied to measurable outcomes bring numbers back into the game and turns  benchwarmers into real-time benchmarks.
• Data quality ensures accountability, facilitates transparency, and reduces redundancy.
• Performance indicators are ultimate vindicators, turning competitors into partners and sustaining creative growth by creating sustainable change.
• Data are plural – but only to the Brits . . .
  

These bulleted staff-development phantasms surged into my mind right before the massive, jarring crunch when my vehicle smashed into the Tree of Life that grows just off the Data-Driven Highway. I cannot recall the moment of collision, nor the impact assessment study that preceded it. It seemed many, many Continuing Staff Improvement sessions later when I awoke to the soothing pastel shades and muted color scheme of a projected graphic full of squiggly arrows, cyber-hieroglyphics and professionally-presented slides filled with corporate jargon. I was finally in Data Heaven where the numbers never lie but rise to live forever.  I had achieved my final measurable objective!